Extract from Chapter 2
‘Is Jean there, please?’ I asked the operator. ‘Jean? No, I’m sorry,’ said a lilting, Irish-accented voice. ‘She’s on holiday for the next four weeks. Can anyone else help you?’ Four weeks! We’d just spoken on Friday, and she’d said nothing about a holiday. First day in a new job, my boss says it’ll be a bit tough but she’ll be there for me, and where is she? On bloody holiday, that’s where! ‘Um,’ I said, speechless for a moment, then ‘Um’ again. ‘Well…’ It came out as a squeak. ‘The thing is, I have a bit of a situation here and I need some advice. Who would you suggest?’ ‘That’s it, girl, remember the management training, chuck the question back at the questioner – although it’s a pity about the squeak,’ said the little devil on my shoulder ‘doesn’t help your credibility, if you ask me.’ I ignored him. ‘The only person in the office at present,’ the woman on the phone said, ‘is Mr Barrington, the Shops Director. Would he do?’ He who hesitates is lost! Does that also apply to ‘she’? Probably. I took the plunge, ‘Yes. This is an emergency. He’ll do!’ A second or two later I’m speaking to God. Or at least the right-hand man with his eyes on the big chair. ‘Hello, Gillian, how’s your first day going?’ He knows my name! How in heaven’s name did that happen? Still, I took that as a good omen and plunged straight in without the niceties.

‘I’m sorry to trouble you but I’ve a situation here that’s is a bit unusual. I’m at Lupin Lane.’ Did he know where that was? Did he care? Did he think I’d lost my marbles? Lupin Lane sounded like something out of a Postman Pat or Bob the Builder storyline ‘The volunteers are all well on the way to being drunk and incapable, the manager is hysterical and there’s an intoxicated, unconscious man tied up and lying in the loo.’ I deliberately omitted the fact that the man was naked and that the shop had been closed for almost two hours. ‘I can handle the manager and volunteers but thought I should get a steer on our visitor.’ There was a long pause before he finally spoke. ‘That’s quite a first day score, Gillian. The best I’ve heard yet.’ That couldn’t be amusement I heard, surely? Could it? His voice had a definite wobble in it that hinted at suppressed laughter. Or anger. I decided on laughter, it was more comfortable. ‘Quite,’ I said, confused by his apparently relaxed response. ‘But what do you advise? He was very loud, apparently, and caused quite a stir. Some of the volunteers were quite upset. Hence the medicinal use of a glass or three of restorative malt at the local pub before I arrived. Shall I call the police and have him arrested? There’s bound to be publicity if I do and I’m not sure whether it’s the kind of publicity we should generate in our situation. As a charity, that is. I can just see the headlines in the local paper.’ ‘Was he violent before he keeled over?’ ‘Very boisterous, from what I can understand. He took off his coat when he arrived at the shop and he was naked underneath. He danced. And sang Lady in Red.’ Buy ‘Charity Begins’ for Kindle, priced only £0.86 at Amazon and read on………